To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account. And I assumed my partner would feel the same. If you are offered further tests, you will be given more information about them so that you can decide whether or not you want to have them. I thought surely everything is ok, as they couldn't detect twins the week before. It is impossible to escape them and each one underlines your loss. At that point, I got very not upset but quite sort of strongly severe sort of with the people at the hospital saying, 'Look, you know, that's 24 hours, possibly a 48 hours' wait - that's not something that's tenable. This does not mean there is anything to worry about. Maybe our son would have overcome his problems, survived his illnesses, led a happy life. I'm trying to understand because I haven't seen a 3-D scan, what it tells the parents? For women who have been given distressing news about their baby during the scan, there should be a health professional available to provide immediate support. But he was not sure. I was sat on the sofa working, my son was at nursery and my partner was in the bath. Some people had underestimated how serious any abnormality found at this stage could be for the baby. It was sick. We've got the same battle scars. And that was scanning up from the above the head, then you were coming up through the child's head, so you were seeing the chambers in the brain, sort of it was evident in all four chambers of the brain, then suddenly one chamber was empty. He felt doing more blood tests would only cause me more discomfort and false hope. Your mind has closed to the possibility that there could be anything wrong. He sounded like a wild animal in pain, deep pain. All my instincts were to protect my belly, yet here I was allowing someone to stick a huge needle into it. And they actually asked my husband to come in before they spoke to me. And she said that, you know, as the, if the baby did develop further there would probably be other problems with internal organs that weren't really that visible at that stage. To view this licence, visit nationalarchives.gov.uk/doc/open-government-licence/version/3 or write to the Information Policy Team, The National Archives, Kew, London TW9 4DU, or email: psi@nationalarchives.gov.uk. It is a noise that will stay with me for ever. See more information about the 20-week ultrasound scan. . Two days, after on Christmas Eve, (my 12 week date) I had more blood tests. But it's bloody hard being miserable the whole time. 18-20 week scans provide clinicians with more information than earlier scans because by18 weeks a healthy baby should be larger and better developed. Some people we talked to had not had a 18-20-week scan, either because their babies' abnormalities had been detected by earlier . Wishing to be anywhere, but here being told the same agonising truth over and . And so this one can't tell you anything, it's pictures, you're going, you're going to see your baby, you're going to get pictures. It felt so wrong. These were said to be soft markers fo a range of trisomies, 2 of which were incompatible with life. He had to come to the decision by himself. x. I know it is still early days. I thought I was going to burst into tears. 2022. Later, I did see and hold our baby. My heart goes out to you OP. So we decided to book an early 10 week private scan. Good luck has not come easily over the past few years. He bluntly told me, he wasn't interested in whatever was seen before, he was only going to go by what he saw that day. What happens at the second midwife appointment? I don't know how we got through the next couple of days. This publication is available at https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/screening-tests-for-you-and-your-baby/11-physical-conditions-20-week-scan. Only this time, no cry came. Just that really! We're going to go and see them. Still, the consultant thought things would be OK. I just want to be normal again. I had my little leaflet, printed off leaflet about choroid plexus cysts. . To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account. So I sort of went home quite, fairly kind of happy and I, at, at this point I hadn't any idea things could go wrong anyway. I was experiencing some light bleeding for the past few days. Then I picked myself up. No sort of questions about, 'Do you want to know whether it's a boy or a girl?' I believed at this point I had miscarried, they wanted me to come back I'm for a follow up scan. We had so much power, we could decide that this little thing should die. ABDOMINAL CIRCUMFERENCE MEASUREMENT AT 20 WEEK SCAN. Several parents said they would have preferred being told something, even it was vague. So I was, they couldn't actually finish the scan then, the baby was moving around too much, so they couldn't scan the heart and the stomach. Never being able to look after himself. Again the legs were quite twisted, they said that the baby's sternum was very short - things weren't in proportion you know - the head was quite large, the neck was very thick, there wasn't really like a neck as such it was just things were kind of - there were lots of things that obviously the consultant could see that we weren't aware of. And at the end of the day however much we talked about it - that it was going to be the two of us to make the decision and me to actually you know, go through it and decide that that was what was going to happen for him - and I just, I didn't want to do it. It would be a personal tragedy for my partner and me, but that is all. She describes having to make a momentous decision very quickly, and the ferment of relief, guilt and grief that followed, Original reporting and incisive analysis, direct from the Guardian every morning. So we decided to book an early 10 week private scan. The scan yet again confirmed things were not good, however the sac had grown. The doctor didn't come. I then had to wait in the room along with many other patients for an hour so they could observe me. I was booked back in to discuss management options, if nothing had happened. She wanted to have a look at the skull, which was the main thing, but she couldn't see it from where the baby was. She describes having to make a . All my plans were beginning to fall down. We're still not at the end of our journey, but we're much further along. I get terribly irritated by my close friends and family. Last updated July 2017. In this information, the word we refers to the NHS service that provides screening. It felt as if we had gone power crazy. Sometimes specialist scans such as 3D scans, or MRI scans, are used to examine the baby in greater detail. It is also sometimes referred to as the mid-pregnancy scan. It was positive, and I felt elated. On January 18, my baby was born, at 23 weeks - a little boy. I didn't really know what that was. But it is a soft marker for Edwards' syndrome. And that, that was when things where it started going a bit wrong. I would be put to sleep, and when I woke up I wouldn't be pregnant any more. I give pregnant women dirty looks. And shortly after that, that scan we'd finished and the consultant leant back and said, 'I'm afraid we have some problems here'. As I was called for my scan I was nervous and emotional. My partner went out with him, wanting to see him. But it was very evident. And I said, I was still laughing, and I thought he was joking with me, and he said now I sort of could tell from his face that by that point he wasn't really joking anymore. And at that, I let out a scream I think. And I could see, before she even said anything I could see that there was something wrong with the heart. It felt as if we'd gone underground, that we were part of the criminal fraternity. I had a horrible feeling of relief. And they took us out of the scanning room, into a more quiet room while they typed up the report. But no. I have a terrible hatred of pregnant women and a new respect for infertile couples. You will then be asked to raise your top to your chest and lower your skirt or trousers to your hips. In some very serious rare cases, where no treatment is possible, the baby will die soon after it is born or during pregnancy. And also what the prognosis would mean for our two year old: now a very happy child, he would have a completely different childhood with such an ill sibling. Those two weeks were agonising for us both. They said the brain was okay -, We were in there for a matter of minutes, literally -, In and out. So we went home really and I sort of had to think about it all night. It was, 'Oh we'll come back to that'. So I lay on the bed and my partner sat next to me. 80 percent of my pregnancies have ended in death and I felt like they were telling me those babies didn't matter. He's now had the all clear and is wriggling round on . I think the whole experience has made me a pretty nasty person. The week that followed was an agonising wait. I tried to show him the notes and the photos. I couldn't bring myself to push. We were denying him his life. I am a darker, harder version of myself. But before he could speak, he, too, had broken down. Sometimes doctors will wait to give the baby more time to develop and carry out repeat scans - this had confused several parents we talked to who had gone for repeat scans not knowing that the baby might have a problem. The next day, it was confirmed that my bloods had again dropped. By this point I had stopped bleeding, this caused problems. We had the 20 week scan yesterday and got some devastating news. Specialist scans had a powerful effect on some parents because they could see the baby more clearly and in some cases people recognised which parts of the baby's body were not working properly. The gel makes sure there is good contact between the probe and your skin. Tissue paper will be tucked around your clothing to protect it from the ultrasound gel, which will then be put on your tummy. And I, and, I felt the weight of deciding what to do about it. And even at that early stage it was beginning to sink in that there was something really not right. Seeing your baby on a screen can be really exciting. The people who did know what was going on seemed far too sure that we were doing the right thing, that there was really no choice to be made. I came back probably about 17 weeks pregnant and had the anomaly scan at 20 weeks and like most people expected everything to be fine and to come away with a lovely picture but unfortunately that isn't what happened. Thankfully I was met by an amazing sonographer, she was compassionate and understanding. And how wrong could they be? You do not have to have the scan. It was over. I hadn't thought about the mechanics of such a late termination, but had assumed it would mean some kind of operation. For many other women, the 18-20 week scan was the point at which they discovered the baby had serious problems. The blood test confirmed it was twins. Some parents wondered if it was possible to have the same scan done at 16 weeks rather than 20 weeks. But other than that everything was fine. Somehow, I walked from the sofa up to the bathroom and told my partner. It wasn't measuring at all the right measurements for the age - there was a heart defect, the limbs were sort of distorted, the arms were, you know - you could see that the arms were very sort of contracted, the hands were contracted. Having the scan does not hurt but the sonographer may need to apply slight pressure to get the best views of your baby. So I suppose from that aspect, mind you having not been told that or sitting there, I wouldn't have thought necessarily that was odd. Thinking back, I don't know how we left without him. And I, my husband and I both ran our own business at the time so we were desperate to get back and do some work, and things were going really well, so.. This was on the Friday. And, faced with feeling sorry for myself or feeling sorry for my child, I know which I'd choose. So I was a bit ignorant of the kind of things, you know, what the scans were really doing - maybe it was, a bit na've I think. Hugely upset that to think that the baby was so poorly. 'Yes, if that's okay with you,' kind of thing, like you do. It's, I mean you can't tell from these scans what you're looking at really, but I remember thinking, 'it just doesn't look quite right' or something, but I didn't give it much thought. So that just left the talipes. Did you, how did that scan make you feel? It seemed inconceivable that we would not be having a baby in May. There are no known risks to your baby or the mother from having an ultrasound scan but it is important that you consider carefully whether or not to have the 20-week scan. Specialist scans had a powerful effect on some parents because they could see the baby more clearly and in some cases people recognised which parts of the baby's body were not working properly. By the time I left the hospital, I was in shock. Mumsnet carries some affiliate marketing links, so if you buy something through our posts, we may get a small share of the sale (more details here). When I see a child with Down's syndrome, I have a tremendous need to explain myself and apologise a million times over. Limitations of the 18-20 week scan And you know, we were laughing and joking. No, we really didn't, with hindsight we probably should have, but not at all, it never occurred to us to be worried about it. I pray it's just her heart but I can't see anything else is wrong as I have been scanned by a consultant since I was 14 weeks and every time he has said everything looks okay and she is growing consistently. The following is a quote from their report: If the scan reveals either a suspected or confirmed abnormality, the woman should be informed by the sonographer at the time of the scan. I endured 12 hours of medication and in the early hours February 7, 56 days after my first scan (at nearly 18 weeks), I miscarried our babies. 13/12/2020 20:45. Within two days I was waiting in my local EPU unit for further tests. You've had a scan, you've had the blood tests, you've been good. So we left it there, and we didn't actually think that there was anything really to worry about after that scan. They would then re-test me in two days time. It was probably all right but hadn't had any fluid in it at the moment. She just said, 'It's a bit short, it needs to be checked' again basically. Looked exactly like our two year old as a baby. Eventually she got the measurements she wanted. We don't know, but it's not looking good'. And it turned out the baby's heart wasn't forming properly, the chambers weren't forming properly. And I thought that if I were faced with the possibility of having an amnio, hours of discussion would follow - I would spend days mulling it over. So we'd gone through the Down's syndrome or worse scare, we'd had conversations about what we would do, if it was confirmed that it was Down's syndrome or another syndrome, another sort of chromosome abnormality. There's nothing wrong, you know, we've had all the tests, everything's fine,' and being very upbeat about it all. You have accepted additional cookies. We saw the consultant, who was reassuring, saying that he would rescan me and was sure everything would be fine. This article was amended on 24 November 2015 to anonymise the writer. The consultant at the time wasn't really that interested in that imagery. I had to be rescanned latter. It is essential that all practitioners performing fetal anomaly ultrasound screening should be trained to communicate abnormal findings to women, as such information is likely to have significant emotional impact. With my oldest it turns out she has a minor thing that affects 1 in 1000 of the population and wont harm her at all it's just "there" and with my second the issue turned out to be nothing. Which she reassured us that she'd be absolutely fine, this was a one-off. I know its hard- but i really wouldnt worry about it too much as the worry will stress you and your body out. Impact of the 20-week and later specialist scans It was real. So and you could see the exomphalus, this little pouch, which was obviously just the intestines where they are. Life expectancy of 30 or 40. . Then, three days later, I would go to the labour ward - the ward I had been expecting to visit in two and a half months. We strongly advise readers not to take drugs that are not prescribed by your qualified healthcare provider. Any delay in receiving more information about the abnormality and its implications will be distressing for women and this should be acknowledged. Very occasionally this second scan cannot be completed, for example because: In this case you will not be offered another screening scan but you will offered an all over physical examination for your baby after birth. Some say this estimate is really below the reality, and the out-of-pocket average costs are higher. I've realised that being a nice person is a luxury some can't afford. As I lay down, and the sonographer started, I could see there was something wrong. That he was small. My partner spent the weekend trying to convince me that things were OK. Some people we talked to had not had a 18-20-week scan, either because their babies' abnormalities had been detected by earlier diagnostic tests (e.g. Originally I hadn't wanted to go down that road. And I couldn't escape the feeling that I was being selfish. It's been a heartbreaking nightmare. Mm-hm. I felt I needed proof of what was wrong before I take such a huge decision and that I couldn't do it based on what someone had written on, on the paper. We went in, had a scan, I can't remember the exact sequence of events because the baby was still in the wrong position. I want to be happy again. The scan will find about half (50%) of those babies who have heart defects. So obviously quite relaxed. I had no issues at my 20wk scan with DD - and neither did any of my antenatal group (9 mums). Health professionals use the 18-20 week scan to examine the baby's size and position, and also to check if his/her brain, heart, lungs and other internal organs are developing as expected. And that was Monday afternoon. The first result, which tells you if the baby has Down's syndrome, is ready in three days, but the other chromosomal problems cannot be eliminated for up to three weeks. 26/09/2019 22:46. And it was just a bit of a shock because it's not really what you want to hear - you don't really expect that. Because, when you're angry with the world for dealing you such a shit time, you begin to hate the people who populate it. There were also two spots on his heart, which were "soft markers" for Down's syndrome. Others, including those who had been given leaflets to read about the scan beforehand as well as some who were health professionals, said that they had been nave about the 20-week scan. SO much upset and needless angst has been caused by 'soft markers' found at scans. It seemed a very arbitrary system, and so you quite often sat outside in the waiting room for a couple of hours before you actually got to see the consultant, which was, seemed you know, I kind of remember thinking before we went in to see him on the particular day when we found out there was a problem, 'Why are we sitting here? We didn't feel we could tell anyone what was happening. He was sure the consultant on Monday would see that the measurements were completely normal and that there was nothing to worry about. So that was it. In some cases concerns in utero fix themselves sometimes needs treatment. I remember thinking, 'that doesn't look quite right'. Our week-by-week PREGNANCY emails are a must for parents-to-be. And they, sort of two of them were looking at the scan machine and then they sort of switched everything off and said, 'Oh, I think we have, might have a problem'. Severe chromosomal conditions such as Edwards' syndrome are now often picked up in the first trimester antenatal screening but itwill usually be more obviousat the 18- 20 week scan, though usually a firm diagnosis will not be made until one or two specialists have weighed up all available evidence about the baby - which usually means that another expert needs to scan the baby again, or until the woman has had an amniocentesis. I think what everyone is saying is that most likely outcome is that there are no problems at all. Let a mum know you're thinking of them send one of our personalised Mother's Day cards today, Home The milk came and stayed for what seemed like for ever. Our baby was beautiful. It was horrible. You've had your, you know, you've had your triple test and everything was fine. The sonographer will be able to tell you the results of the scan at the time. Some people want to find out if their baby has one of the 11 conditions and some do not. For example, the babys brain, kidneys, internal organs or bones may not have developed properly. Why me and not you, you bastard? I returned to be told they wanted to scan me again, another internal to see exactly what was happening. We need to have your opinion'. I had never imagined having an amniocentesis. I've been incredibly lucky to have such amazing support from Sam, my mum, and close friends and family. But now that's changed. So he went out for a walk. 20 week scans look for 11 different anomalies as a rule, however, indicators (markers) are not terribly reliable and in all the literature I found, the targets set for stonographers look like they only pick up around 50% or less of these variants. No one else attended and we didn't have a service. Some stories I hear are amazing! We also use cookies set by other sites to help us deliver content from their services. But with time although we will never forget, I know we will be ok again. And thank God I did. Mumsnet carries some affiliate marketing links, so if you buy something through our posts, we may get a small share of the sale (more details here). I mean, you just, you're just overwhelmed, it's so much fun. Like many things, the theory is very different from the reality. Instead, I had to raise a glass of water to my mouth, take a swig and swallow the tablet. And the first few things they said it didn't sound as thing, as though things were terribly wrong. He looked fine. So he was about two weeks smaller than what he should have been. And with each one we had to have the same conversations. The midwife was on the verge of tears and I felt responsible. Back on the EPU unit, a doctor organised for me to be admitted into the ward, to take the medical management under supervision as the sac was now to big for me to safely miscarry on my own at home. So when that happened to us I really didn't worry, I thought, you know, it was literally the baby was in awkward position, they couldn't see the heart and that was why. He started to scan me with a cold expression, then told me, 'it didn't look good' and that 'my womb looked raggedy'. . (See. Most scans show that babies seem to be developing as expected, and none of the 11 conditions are found. And then, so I went to my next scan, which was the 20-week abnormality scan, and we took our first child with us, I think he was 17 months old at the time. So I no longer trusted my instincts. Surely he couldn't have missed anything else that is so serious x. But they didn't. So it was, there was very, very little movement from the baby because I remembered first time round by that stage, you know, that the baby was quite big and it moved around a lot at a later scan. And she sort of got up and walked out of the room and called someone in. I mean the lady who was scanning was very quiet for a long time. The doctor or midwife looking after you will let you know before you come. The baby kicked, blissfully unaware of what I had done. Specialist scans are performed in specialist fetal units and if clinicians feel that there might be problems scanning will be done up to 32 weeks. Actually you could tell from the brain development as he scanned up through the chambers of the brain, that one quarter of the brain, one chamber was not evident.
I Am Malicious Because I Am Miserable Analysis,
St Peter's School Poughkeepsie,
Does Michael Vartan Have A Daughter,
Is Anthony Slaughter Married,
Articles C
