I recall many years ago, when he was guest-hosting the Tonight show, George Carlin having a somewhat strained political conversation with the comedian Shelley Winters. Carlin passed away in 2008 before he could see the prescience of his comedic wit and intelligence with the rise of Republican Donald Trump's candidacy this year. Everybodys going to save something now. Nobeody seems to care. "The reason they call it the American Dream is because you have to be asleep to believe it. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time. (LogOut/ Everybody complains about politicians. And they own all the big media companies, so that they control just about all of the news and information you hear. #AmericaWakeUp pic.twitter.com/vy2zz0j8DB, Mrs. Krassenstein (@HKrassenstein) July 26, 2020. Nothing changed. The challenge is to find it. There is actually a semi-important figure in American history who is named for a blow-job movie. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance". "A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff. George Carlin. Carlin's rueful 1996 routine about conservatives' opposition to abortion ("they will do anything for the unborn, but once you're born, you're on your own") became a newly viral phenomenon and. 'George Carlin - Life Is Worth LosingRecorded 5 Nov 2005, Beacon Theater, New York City, New YorkReleased: January 10, 2006Audio-visual content monetised by copyright claimant, MPI Media So we are going to have to do lots of things different as a Black community," Ice Cube said in a video shared on Twitter on October 11. George Carlin may be dead, but his spirit lives on. ""Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? After that, they dont want to know about you. You'd have people tuning in don't even care about football! I prefer dogs, because dogs don't care. 03 Mar 2023 16:21:02 They're all in favor of the unborn. Im tired of this shit. George Carlin, Never argue with an idiot. Hes all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow just cant handle money! George Carlin, Thats why they call it the American Dreambecause you have to be asleep to believe it. George Carlin, Religion is like a pair of shoes..Find one that fits for you, but dont make me wear your shoes. George Carlin, He and if there is a God, I am convinced he is a he because no woman could or would ever fuck things up this badly. George Carlin, I do this real moron thing, and its called thinking. You have no choice. The ID is used for targeted ads. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time. This anonymous data helps us to better understand users' needs and customize the website accordingly. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. Well, where do people think these politicians come from? But once you're born, you're on your own. Teach them to question everything. George Carlin, People who say they dont care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they dont care what people think. George Carlin, Theres a humorous side to every situation. The 1996 clip is being passed around on social media after this week's Supreme Court news. If he wants to just lecture with his opinions then he gets lectured back with other peoples opinions. I'm your huckleberry. Thats what the owners count on, Carlin intones. Carlin was known for his dark comedy and reflections on politics, religion, psychology, language and taboo subjects. By clicking Accept, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies. You work forty years until youre young enough to enjoy your retirement. He saw it from a . American - Comedian May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008. George Carlin, Meow means woof in cat. George Carlin, When youre born you get a ticket to the freak show. It also helps for marketing automation solution for B2B marketers to track customers through all phases of buying cycle. Bomb them! And of course, the bombs and the rockets and the bullets are all shaped like dicks. ", 109. You have owners. Well, where do people think these politicians come from? 42. Because you have the illusion of choice. Even sex has to be approached from, shall we say, a different angle to accommodate pain. Fewer Texans. Carlin is funny as hell. They want obedient workers. As politicians and social media commentators weighed in on . George Carlin. Theyre not interested in that. "The things that matter in this country have been reduced in choice, there are two political parties, there are a handful insurance companies, there are six or seven information centers, but if you want a bagel there are 23 flavors. After harping on his skepticism of politicians, particularly Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden, 51-year-old Ice Cube doubled down on his distrust of the government on Tuesday by sharing a famous quote by the late, great comedian George Carlin on Twitter. When a . But He loves you. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre going to get selfish, ignorant leaders. It doesn't matter what side you're on. This Cookie is used by Yahoo to anonymously store data related to user's visits, such as the number of visits, average time spent on the website and what pages have been loaded. The politicians are put there to give you the idea you have freedom of choice. That's about as close as you could get to pegging him as any party affiliation. "Although I broke a lot of laws as a teenager, I straightened out immediately upon turning eighteen, when I realized the state had a legal right to execute me. Enter your email address to follow Motley News. George Carlin - Government doesn't care about you - YouTube 0:00 / 0:37 George Carlin - Government doesn't care about you ThreeToedPete 955 subscribers Subscribe 502 Share 35K. ", 74. Now, some people like to twist that around. LinkedIn sets the lidc cookie to facilitate data center selection. ", 20. ", 7. This cookie, set by PubMatic, is used to build a profile of user interests and to show relevant ads. "By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth. They dont fall out of the sky. This is one of the greatest social and political commentaries of the modern era. The fact that Americans will probably remain willfully ignorant of the big red, white, and blue dick thats being jammed up their assholes every day, because the owners of this country know the truth: Its call the Amercian Dream because you have to be asleep to believe it., RIP George Carlin. Founded in 2010, Thought Catalog is owned and operated by The Thought & Expression Company, Inc. For over a decade, we've been at the bleeding edge of media, pioneering an infrastructure for creatives to flourish both artistically and financially. CMPRO cookie is set by CasaleMedia for anonymous user tracking, and for targeted advertising. ", Want more great quotes? ", 69. "Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc. Some of the data that are collected include the number of visitors, their source, and the pages they visit anonymously. On Election Day, I stay home. "Im completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. George Carlin may be dead, but his spirit lives on. After that, they dont wanna know about you. "Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Theyre not interested in that. They don't fall out of the sky. Chartbeat sets this cookie to store the original referrer for the site visitor. RLCDN sets this cookie to provide users with relevant advertisements and limit the number of ads displayed. May 12, 1937 June 22, 2008. A provocative new photo shoot has the trolls losing their minds alongside the likes of Noel Gallagher, Bob Geldof, and Azealia Banks. they don't wanna know about you. 27 Feb 2023 13:57:17 This cookie store anonymous user idnetifier to determine whether a visitor had visited before, or if its a new visit. George Carlin Shitting on GovernmentBuy Me a Pizzahttps://www.buymeacoffee.com/LaughPlGEORGE CARLINhttps://www.youtube.com/user/OfficialGeorgeCarlin/feedGeorge's websitehttps://georgecarlin.com/Social Media:\rInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/thelaughplanetofficial/\rYoutube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiI_jyH_0yttWG-m5fBYGmA\rTwitter: https://twitter.com/laugh_planet\rWebsite: http://thelaughplanet.comContact us: ash98jha@gmai.com #GeorgeCarlin #Government #America #Comedy #LaughPlanet '", 78. "Tell people there's an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. Pro-life conservatives are obsessed with the fetus from conception to nine months. ", 25. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure. ", 87. Contents 1 Quotes 1.1 FM & AM (1972) "I have as much authority as the Pope. This cookie is used for preventing the installation of third party advertiser or other cookies on the browser. Its a subconscious need to project the penis into other peoples affairs. He loves you, and He needs money! ", 94. He missed this one. This cookie allows the website to identify a user and provide enhanced functionality and personalisation. "Bulls**t is truly the American soundtrack. Analytical cookies are used to understand how visitors interact with the website. Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save those snails. And the greatest arrogance of all: save the planet. A group of slave owners who wanted to be free! Politics Notify me about new: Board Topics. ' Avoid teams at all costs. "That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. ", 91. Change), You are commenting using your Twitter account. The __gads cookie, set by Google, is stored under DoubleClick domain and tracks the number of times users see an advert, measures the success of the campaign and calculates its revenue. You caused the problem. -26 1amathrowaway 1 yr. ago And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid." 2. "When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to hear '27 months.' . ", 56. No president has done right by us. Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. - Doc Holliday. Then they would drink a lot of coffee.' Theyll get it. This problem can be solved by pre-school children in 5-10 minutes. Scorecard Research sets this cookie for browser behaviour research. Most are only interested in self pleasures and bad habits. YouTube sets this cookie to store the video preferences of the user using embedded YouTube video. ", 33. This cookie, set by DataXu, tracks the advertisement report which helps to improve the marketing activity. The cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. This cookie is used as a unique identifier for the BlueConic profile. The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. The great George Carlin once said in an interview that he divorced himself from concerns and problems from the world. That would be a nice realistic campaign slogan for somebody: The public sucks. We're all fucked," Carlin once said. These Politicians Don't Care About You At All The failures of people who supposedly represent the people Photo by Marco Oriolesi on Unsplash When people elect leaders in a democracy, the. -George Carlin There you are. "I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? ", 42. Rubicon Project sets this cookie as an internal user identifier that stores user data to be used for analytics. Deal with it. George Carlin, Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that. George Carlin, Isnt it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice? George Carlin, Were so self-important. You have no choice. RIP George Carlin. "Maybe its not the politicians who suck; maybe its something else. "When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. You get kicked out when youre too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. This cookie is used for email services. You have owners. Some people dream of things that never were and ask, 'Why not?' Provided by amazon-adsystem to make advertising messages more relevant to the users and their interests. You show a clip of a young Richard Pryor and a young George Carlin on the set together with John Davidson. "We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. Prof Thuggy aka Professor Thug 32K views 1. The _omappvs cookie, used in conjunction with the _omappvp cookies, is used to determine if the visitor has visited the website before, or if it is a new visitor. You voted them in. ", 9. Juno3127 10 years ago You couldn't be more wrong. Why? Forget the politicians. Laugh until you gasp for breath. This data helps to customize website content to enhance user experience. Ice Cube may be engaging in a political kerfuffle with Democrats following the news of his latest partnership with President Donald Trump's administration for the "Platinum Plan," but the rapper and actor is keen on letting his fans and followers know that he is not necessarily banding together with the government, despite what the past week of headlines might suggest. ", 102. They own everything. Next, honor thy father and mother. "People are wonderful one at a time. This cookie stores a visitor's unique identifier for Chartbeat tracking on the site. "Don't give your money to the church. They never mention that part to us, do they? This cookie is managed by Amazon Web Services and is used for load balancing. It will not be with jack-boots. They spend billions of dollars every year lobbyinglobbying to get what they want. ", 116. - George Carlin. ", 6. September 12, 2019. The ad-id cookie is provided by Amazon Advertising for tallying user actions by tracking ad clicks on other websites, to provide targeted content. Carlin, who was known for spewing critical rhetoric against the government, organized religion and big business, first delivered the quote during his 2005 HBO comedy special, Life Is Worth Losing. They dont want well informed, well educated people capable of critical thinking. By clicking Accept All Cookies, you agree to the storing of cookies on your device to enhance site navigation, analyze site usage, and assist in our marketing efforts. Weve also included some of his sketches from YouTube, viral videos of jokes you might have heard once or twice before. George Carlin gives him the finger from the grave. "I have lots of ideas. Nitwits, assholes, fuckups, scumbags, jerkoffs, and dipshits. ", 18. Going after racists, sexists, fascists, and aiming to bring those who try to restrict freedom to justice. F*ck Hope. George Carlin, In America, anyone can become president. ""Think about how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of 'em are stupider than that. ", 46. The JSESSIONID cookie is used by New Relic to store a session identifier so that New Relic can monitor session counts for an application. "Atheism is a non-prophet organization. This is one of the greatest social and political commentaries of the modern era. In fact, liberals are so successful at winning the culture war that they are alienating most Americans. That's the problem. It sounds like this: What, they have bigger dicks? You don't. You have no choice. ", 39. They dont want people who are smart enough to sit around a kitchen table and think about how badly theyre getting fucked by a system that threw them overboard 30 fuckin years ago. The late great stand-up, actor and occasional philosopher George Carlin was known to cross the lines of what polite society would call good taste, but he himself drew a few lines when it came. the politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. Your culture and entertainment cheat-sheet. Google DoubleClick IDE cookies are used to store information about how the user uses the website to present them with relevant ads and according to the user profile. The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, "You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.". God has a three-day weekend. George Carlin, The real reason that we cant have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not commit adultery, and Thou shalt not lie in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. "War is rich old men protecting their property by sending middle class and lower class men off to die. They believe a womans primary role is to function as a broodmare for the state.. ", 30. I mean, life is tough. If you're preborn, you're fine; if you're preschool, you're f**ked. "The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions. "I put a dollar in a change machine. ", 60. ""Now, there's one thing you might have noticed I don't complain about: politicians. It does not store any personal data. Transcribed part of speech begins at 10.33 13 May 1999, National Press Club, Washington DC, USA This is an incomplete transcript made by Raven Developers . Fascism won it. No neonatal care, no daycare, no head start, no school lunch, no food stamps, no welfare, no nothing. War is a whole lot of men standing out on a field waving their pricks at one another. The dmvk cookie is set by Dailymotion to record data of visitor behaviour on the website. ""I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. After harping on his skepticism of politicians, particularly Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden, 51-year-old Ice Cube doubled down on his distrust of the government on Tuesday by sharing a. Doesnt give a shit, which I admire in a person, and which would explain a lot of these bad results. George Carlin, Atheism is a non-prophet organization. George Carlin, I have as much authority as the Pope. And I didn't really care in the first place. I took his shoes. This cookie is associated with Django web development platform for python. They've long since bought and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the statehouses, the city halls. ", 65. "Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. The cookie is used to store and identify a users' unique session ID for the purpose of managing user session on the website. An Adobe Analytics cookie that uses a unique visitor ID time/date stamp to identify a unique vistor to the website. "Religion is like a pair of shoes: Find one that fits for you, but don't make me wear your shoes. ", 3. "Isnt making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool? Yeah, the public sucks. So I don't trust none of them. JIM STAFFORD. I don't like cats. If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you're going to get selfish, ignorant leaders. This cookie is set by the provider Akamai Bot Manager. They will do anything for the unborn. Men are insecure about the size of their dicks, and so they have to kill one another over the idea. You have owners. "I think everyone should treat one another in a Christian manner. George Carlin was a comedian and social critic. Don't miss a beat. ""This country was founded by a group of slave owners who wanted to be. The challenge is to find it. George Carlin, What if there were no hypothetical questions? George Carlin, The planet is fine. AddThis sets this geolocation cookie to help understand the location of users who share the information. "There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls. No other time but to see how human nature really shines, am I right? ", 64. Lijit Advertising Platform sets this cookie temporarily, when multiple partners pass their IDs to the platform simultaneously. I think the life cycle is all backwards. Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. No nothing. It will not be with jack-boots. "Some people see things that are and ask, 'Why?' Cookie associated with embedding content from Snapchat. "Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? "Never argue with an idiot. I will not, however, be responsible for the consequences. With his daring satirical jokes, his words will make you laugh and make you think profoundly about everything you experience. By programmers in one hour. If youre pre-born, youre fine, if youre preschool, youre fucked.. They own everything" "They've. ", 19. That doesnt help them. Whenever some boomer try's to lecture you about how their first job in the 60s they only made $3 an hour, just remember, $3 in 1969 had the equivalent buying power as $25.01 today. They should be more vivid. G eorge Carlin was ahead of his time. George Carlin They Don't Give a Fu@k About You - YouTube George speaking the truth. They say, 'If you don't vote, you have no right to complain,' but where's the logic in that? We're so self-important. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. This cookie is set by Rubicon Project and is used for recording cookie consent data. Enter your email address below then click "FOLLOW" to receive email notifications of new posts. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Two decades later, the anti-abortion movement hasn't really changed. "Isnt it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do 'practice? You're down to seven. Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. Weve addedyearstolifenotlife to years. George Carlin, Heres a bumper sticker Id like to see: We are the proud parents of a child whos self-esteem is sufficient that he doesnt need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car. George Carlin, Well, if crime fighters fight crime and firefighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight? George Carlin, Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be. George Carlin, How come when its us, its an abortion, and when its a chicken, its an omelette? George Carlin, Laugh often, long and loud. It creates a hostile work environment. "My advice: just keep moving straight ahead. ", 14. The people left of center were liberals; the people right of center were conservatives. Issued by Microsoft's ASP.NET Application, this cookie stores session data during a user's website visit. "Governments don't want well-informed, well-educated people capable of critical thinking. ", 17. The quote continues: "They own all the important land. That's against their interests. "Dont just teach your children to read. ""The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post 'Thou shalt not steal,' 'Thou shalt not commit adultery,' and 'Thou shalt not lie' in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. They want obedient workers, people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork. 123 Rocky_Roku 1 yr. ago Didn't he say that he despised liberalism just as much as conservatism? "Sometimes people say, 'Do I try to make audiences think?' I had an imaginary friend. The fact that Americans will probably remain willfully ignorant of the big red, white, and blue dick that's being jammed up their assholes every day, because the owners of this country know the truth: It's call the Amercian Dream because you have to be asleep to believe it.". ", 52. Jesse Kelly wanted to whip his followers into homophobic outrage, but it sure AF didnt work. AddThis sets this cookie to track page visits, sources of traffic and share counts. Where are these people hiding? Lobbying, to get what they want. They spend billions of dollars every year lobbying. ""You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? ""Conservatives say if you don't give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. ""The owners of this country know the truth: It's called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. ", 45. You and I are not in The Big Club. Answer (1 of 12): He was a liberal. "In America, anyone can become president. ""Boy, these conservatives are really something, aren't they? They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience. When it comes to mass shootings, the problem isnt Republicans or the NRA. Even right-wingers are getting tired of their queerphobic schtick. NID cookie, set by Google, is used for advertising purposes; to limit the number of times the user sees an ad, to mute unwanted ads, and to measure the effectiveness of ads. ", 66. Its a big club and you aint in it. This cookie expires after 30 minutes but the timer is reset if the visitor visits a new page on the site before the cookie expires. . RT @JamesMelville: "They own everythingThey don't care about youThey got you by the balls." ~ George Carlin He absolutely nailed it. The sp_landing is set by Spotify to implement audio content from Spotify on the website and also registers information on user interaction related to the audio content. he was a conservative. ""These days many politicians are demanding change. ", 21. StackAdapt sets this cookie as a Random Identifier for user identification, to display relevant advertisements. You know what the motto for this country ought to be? Installed by Google Analytics, _gid cookie stores information on how visitors use a website, while also creating an analytics report of the website's performance. Learn how your comment data is processed. ", George Carlin's acerbic wit and profound societal insights were a one time cultural phenomenon. This information is then used to select advertisements delivered by the platform and measure the performance of the advretisement and attribute their payments. "If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? Pattern Integrity Films set the bit to photos and video clips from modern-day America and the result is devastating. The Monday night crucifixions! You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating and you finish off as an orgasm. George Carlin, I dont have pet peeves I have major psychotic fucking hatreds. George Carlin, Some people see the glass half full. May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008. "May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. This cookie is used for storing country code selected from country selector. ", 26. How do school teachers handle this? ", 68. If a dog can do it, you can watch. And I would say, 'I'm not playin', Ma. I like people who buck the system. ", 104. MediaMath sets this cookie to avoid the same ads from being shown repeatedly and for relevant advertising. ", 77. "Some people see the glass half full. ", 49. Thats against their interests. ", 107. Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window), Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window), Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window), Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window), Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window). It even sparked a legal case with the U.S. Supreme Court! "Everybody's been mad at me, cause I haven't been on the f**king, y'know, the gravy train of these candidates, especially Joe Biden and Harris. Chartbeat sets this cookie to store information about when a visitor has visited the site before. Maybe something else sucks around here like, the public. You dont have to be a historian or a political scientist to see the bigger-dick foreign policy at work. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. "But what I want them to know is that Im thinking. 3 queens who slayed while imitating Rep. George Santoss drag alter ego, Kitara Rivache, Libs Of TikTok's Chaya Raichik & Nikki Haley gave CPAC speeches to mostly empty rooms, Tennessee issues trans healthcare ban & nation's first drag ban. "The planet is fine. 02. Theyre all in favor of the unborn. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. I'm f**kin' serious! LinkedIn sets this cookie to remember a user's language setting. From his infamous take on censorship with his NSFW "Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television" (which landed in the Supreme Court) to his nuanced rants on partisan politics and consumerism, Carlin not only made audiences laugh, but he challenged them to think independently and criticallyalbeit not entirely deliberately.
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